insta: amber.zs | “Ich möchte Sie, so gut wie ich es kann, bitten, Geduld zu haben, gegen alles Ungelöste in Ihrem Herzen und zu versuchen, die Fragen selbst lieb zu haben, wie verschlossene Stuben und Bücher, die in einer sehr fremden Sprache geschrieben sind. Forschen Sie jetzt nicht nach den Antworten. Vielleicht leben Sie dann allmählich, ohne es zu merken, eines fernen Tages in die Antworten hinein.” Rainer Maria Rilke
No offense but the internet gives you the most wrong and fucked up idea of helping people because people get mad if you don’t care about disasters happening in 72 countries, meanwhile the people in real life that are doing the most good picked one VERY SPECIFIC thing to care about and care about it REALLY HARD
good sentiment but idk… u don’t have to belittle or talk down to the valid anger that oppressed folks express at being ignored—particularly that of non-white folks and those outside the us/west.
Your issue is not knowing what to focus on or how best to help—probably more of a symptom of misguided individualism—not that “those bad, annoying oppressed people are being too demanding 😢”. Understand that you being overwhelmed is not the fault of those in pain.
Find community, do your best, know your limits.
I think this exactly expresses what I hope people take away from this post—the internet has the effect of getting people paralyzed because there are so many individual things to care about, and all the pain and need appears to be competing, and people end up trying to divide their energy into very small portions when those small portions are often least effective.
I get frustrated with this kind of practice because people so often reblog outright misinformation because a post said “you MUST reblog this!” because people think of it as better, more complete, to circulate posts on diverse topics they barely know about, than to focus deeply on one thing they see they have the power to help. You have to dive in a little sometimes to get an accurate understanding of what you’re dealing with.
I really, really don’t want this to be a “Stop talking about your problems, people outside america! It’s so depressing!” post. It’s a “helping people in a real way usually means you get together with other people and focus on a specific problem.”
Social media means if you’re not careful and intentional, your feeds will trickle into exposing you to the most pain and tragedy while cutting you off from being connected to others and having the power to help, because you’re seeing only like 2% of everything. And it’s not good.
“My eldest daughter, Suldana, is in love with another woman. She is eighteen and she spends her days working at our kiosk selling milk and eggs, and at night she sneaks out and goes down to the beach to see her lover. She crawls back into bed at dawn, smelling of sea and salt and perfume. Suldana is beautiful and she wraps this beauty around herself like a shawl of stars. When she smiles her dimples deepen and you can’t help but be charmed. When she walks down the street men stare and whistle and ache. But they cannot have her. Every day marriage proposals arrive with offers of high dowries but I wave them away. We never talk about these things like mothers and daughters should; but I respect her privacy and I allow her to live.”
